I’m complicated, I know that. My social appearance is quite easy-going, fun and reliable, but when you get to know me, which I assume is the same for everybody, you will understand (or not) the depths of my personality that might be completely opposite of what you would have guessed from the first impression.
I prefer keeping my problems to myself and dealing with anything that bugs me internally. Munching on these things without ever getting them off my chest really has triggered anxiety issues and as literal as it sounds: trying to be strong the entire time has eventually made me weaker. I’ve only learned that in the past year but on the occasion of my birthday this weekend I thought I would share some things I would tell my younger self.
1) It’s OK.
Stop worrying about everything. Taking on too many problems that aren’t your own and problems you simply cannot change will cause you many sleepless nights and affect your personal well being. One things that creeps me really out is the thought of future, everything needs to be planned but you simply cannot plan things that you don’t have any influence on. So try and calm down a bit, tomorrow things will look completely different again.
2) Not every friend is worth keeping.
You will meet people along your way that you think are amazing and you can relate to but for some reason you cannot be yourself. Either they’re easily offended and cause a problem whenever you haven’t acted to their expectation, or you just simply feel like you have to be a different, toned down version of yourself. It is okay to cut people out of your life, sometimes, if people keep having problems with you it’s not you but them. Ever thought of that?
3) Love yourself!
This is the point I still struggle with most. You simply won’t ever be able to accept anybody’s love if you don’t accept yourself first. And you don’t want to be reliant on somebody else just for confirmation that you’re one awesome human being!
4) Stay true to yourself.
Moving around the world for quite a bit I have obviously met people with different moral standards to mine. Whether that concerns the working world or say stealing, for instance. These situations always bring me into conflict, but I’ve grown used to just keep doing what I do. It is really hard for me to accept this but not everybody can be the same and I will just continue to be the best version of myself, as selfish as that might sound.
5) Use your voice!
Especially during these few weekends of interning I learned that if you don’t ask for something, you’ll never get it. The worst thing that can happen is that your request is denied. Bummer. Move on. Asking questions will make you smarter and eventually create more authority. If there’s something bugging you, speak it out. Everything is gonna stay the same if you don’t make the first step to change it.
I’m curious to find out what you have learned over the course of time and: what’s the best advice you have ever received?